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RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Elton John brings down the curtain on Glastonbury

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Elton John introduced down the curtain on the Glastonbury Festival with a barnstorming biggest hits set, which can show to be his final ever stay efficiency in England.

He paid tribute to the late George Michael, who would have been celebrating his sixtieth birthday, and was joined onstage by an assortment of visitor stars, most of whom I’d by no means heard of.

I couldn’t assist questioning how most of the 200,000 crowd crammed collectively within the area in entrance of the Pyramid stage are nonetheless working from residence, post-Covid.

To seize the zeitgeist, Elton might have invited a few of them onstage to affix him in a reworked model of his 1978 hit, Half-Time Love, co-written with Gary Osborne. It helps for those who sing alongside . . .

Half-time jobs. We’re working from residence. And we’re consuming Hobnobs

For lunch and tea. Watching Cut price Hunt. On the BBC

We gained’t go into city. We’re nonetheless staying locked-down

Since you, me, all people’s. Obtained a part-time job. 

Half-time jobs. We’re terribly nervous. Within the Civil Service

So we gained’t flip up. On Mondays and Fridays. And alternate Tuesdays

We’ll simply do as we like. That’s after we’re not on strike

Since you, me, all people’s. Obtained a part-time job.

Elton John brought down the curtain on the Glastonbury Festival with a barnstorming greatest hits set, which may prove to be his last ever live performance in England

Elton John introduced down the curtain on the Glastonbury Competition with a barnstorming biggest hits set, which can show to be his final ever stay efficiency in England

Elton (pictured) paid tribute to the late George Michael, who would have been celebrating his 60th birthday, and was joined onstage by an assortment of guest stars, most of whom I’d never heard of

Elton (pictured) paid tribute to the late George Michael, who would have been celebrating his sixtieth birthday, and was joined onstage by an assortment of visitor stars, most of whom I’d by no means heard of

And simply because the Glasto crowd had as soon as serenaded Jeremy Corbyn, absolutely within the pursuits of political steadiness Elton might have rewritten Candle In The Wind as a tribute to the now departed Boris Johnson.

It will have been value it, if solely to look at the livid response of the Left-wing luvvies within the viewers. So with apologies to Elton and lyricist Bernie Taupin . . .

Goodbye, World King. So that they’ve screwed you in any case

You had the nerve to champion Go away. Whereas these round you backed Stay

They’ve crawled out of the woodwork. And conspired to topple you

For having the audacity. To get us out of the EU.

Although it appears to me you’ve lived your life. On a big gamble and a whim.

However when push has come to shove. You discovered a strategy to win.

And that’s why they resent you. Need to bury you for good.

Since you’ve at all times reached the elements. These losers by no means might.

Perhaps Boris might have turned up and sung a defiant refrain of I’m Not Standing, which might have positively ensured that Sunday evening was alright for combating . . .

We’re The Village Corridor Preservation Society 

Hundreds of village halls throughout Britain are going through closure as a result of they don’t adjust to new anti-terrorism laws launched after the Manchester Area atrocity.

Jobsworths are insisting that venues of all sizes need to implement strict safety measures, together with coaching and evacuation plans.

Presumably, simply in case Islamic State ever decides to focus on a month-to-month assembly of the A lot Culling In The Marsh cribbage membership.

The Mail on Sunday reviews that one village corridor, at Kingsclere in Hampshire, is already going through closure.

Chairman Sharon Morris mentioned in a submission to the Commons residence affairs committee that will probably be unimaginable to implement the measures being demanded.

‘Trustees have duties, however these duties seem to make us accountable for the best way by which group organisations conduct their capabilities. We merely can’t have that stage of accountability.’

Below the brand new proposals, volunteers at venues with a capability of greater than 100 individuals must endure anti-terror coaching.

They’re already affected by onerous ‘elf’n’security rules, which has led to even the ladies who prepare flowers in church buildings being subjected to intrusive background and ‘safeguarding’ checks. Understandably, many refuse to conform.

Thousands of village halls across Britain are facing closure because they do not comply with new anti-terrorism legislation introduced after the Manchester Arena atrocity (Pictured: Bill Pertwee as Warden Hodges in the 1970's British sitcom 'Dads Army')

Hundreds of village halls throughout Britain are going through closure as a result of they don’t adjust to new anti-terrorism laws launched after the Manchester Area atrocity (Pictured: Invoice Pertwee as Warden Hodges within the 1970’s British sitcom ‘Dads Military’)

Kingsclere village corridor marked its one centesimal anniversary in 2021 with a flypast from a Spitfire.

But when this legislation had been in drive throughout World Battle II, the House Guard would have been banned from assembly within the church corridor. 

The Kingsclere Ladies’s Institute faces being wound up. So do the mom and toddler group and the native Pilates class. It’s the identical story throughout the nation. Smaller nation pubs is also beneath risk.

There’s by no means been a reputable terrorism scare in Kingsclere, though the village did expertise a spate of bicycle and prize-marrow thefts just a few years in the past.

But the House Workplace is reluctant to again down. ‘The primary obligation of the Authorities is to guard the general public and we’re dedicated to bettering the safety of public venues,’ mentioned a spokesman. There speaks the genuine voice of the Nice British Jobsworth.

Almost eight many years after the top of the battle, the Warden Hodges Tendency is alive and effectively.

These mad plans should be resisted in any respect prices.

We’re The Village Corridor Preservation Society . . .

John Cleese says he’s chopping the well-known At all times Look On The Vivid Facet crucifixion scene from his new stage adaptation of Life Of Brian as a result of it has misplaced the facility to shock.

When the movie got here out in 1979 there was a horrified response from non secular organisations. In Britain, 39 native authorities both refused to permit cinemas to indicate it or imposed an ‘X’ certificates. 

Internationally it was banned outright as far afield as Singapore, South Africa and, for some cause, Norway. 

For all I do know, it nonetheless is. Nevertheless, Cleese continues to be sticking with the scene by which Stan, performed by Eric Idle, is ridiculed as a result of he claims it’s his proper to have a child, regardless that he doesn’t possess a womb. How occasions and mores change. Forty years in the past, blasphemy was thought-about past the pale.

Immediately, mocking Christianity isn’t any massive deal. But when Cleese insists on a personality sustaining that males can’t give beginning, he’ll run the chance of the stage play being cancelled, the theatre being raided by the police and discovering himself up on a cost of committing a ‘transphobic hate crime’.

John Cleese (pictured) says he is cutting the famous Always Look On The Bright Side crucifixion scene from his new stage adaptation of Life Of Brian because it has lost the power to shock.

John Cleese (pictured) says he’s chopping the well-known At all times Look On The Vivid Facet crucifixion scene from his new stage adaptation of Life Of Brian as a result of it has misplaced the facility to shock.

Andrew Pierce’s story about deputy chief Angela Rayner being frozen out of Keir Starmer’s interior circle struck a chord with me.

Within the days once I coated the Labour motion, the occasion was riven with factional infighting.

Many of the unions who bankrolled the occasion have been break up between Left and Proper. Coverage was carved up upfront.

I can keep in mind one convention in Blackpool the place my outdated mate Terry Duffy, the engineers’ chief, had convened an early morning assembly of moderates in his delegation to resolve easy methods to vote on the day’s agenda.

5 minutes after it began, the door swung open and in walked a number one Left-winger. ‘What’s occurring right here, then?’ he requested.

‘We’re having a cactus assembly,’ Terry replied.

‘Don’t you imply a caucus assembly?”

‘No, it is a cactus assembly. The pricks are on the skin.’

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