A Santa Claus goes viral for his feedback about boundaries. In a video, mom Katie Love posted on TikTok, a Jolly Outdated St. Nicholas greeting youngsters in Key Biscayne, Fla., supported Love’s daughter’s alternative to not sit in his lap. “I stated that is her physique, and she or he’s answerable for her physique,” stated the person, who can be a reverend and goes by the Rev Santa on social media. Love told Storyful that she was “stunned” that Santa “took the time to inform my daughter it was her physique and her alternative whether or not she wished to take a seat on Santa’s lap,” noting “he might have brushed her off and even made her really feel dangerous.”
Many commenters on Love’s TikTok applauded each Santa and Love’s daughter for shielding her boundaries. One wrote, “I like this. No motive to stress her to be uncomfortable for an image,” whereas one other added, “Love that he did not attempt to push her into it and that she knew her personal thoughts to say no.”
Santa Claus and consent
This isn’t the primary time the query of consent has come up in regard to Santa Claus and youngsters. In any case, Santa Claus could also be a beloved vacation determine, however he’s also a stranger {that a} youngster is doubtlessly not comfy with.
Final December, mother Alexandra Frost defined her ideas on the “bizarre tradition” in a bit for Yahoo Life titled “I won’t make my kids sit on Santa’s lap. Why we should all stop this outdated trend.“
“We train our youngsters to run from strangers, screaming on the prime of their lungs, until they’re dressed up as Santa. We teach them physical boundaries about touching and limits, until we’re paying $25 to get an image taken with them sitting on stated stranger,” Frost wrote.
Her recommendation? “As with most issues, giving them the choice to do no matter they’re most comfy with takes the stress off, and makes Santa extra about Christmas magic and fewer about awkwardness and tear-filled photographs. Some traditions ought to simply keep within the final century.”
How you can train your children about boundaries
Whereas not each grownup will perceive why you’re letting your children select how they need to bodily work together with the world, allowing your kids to set boundaries — comparable to whether or not or not they need to settle for a hug or kiss — may also help construct their confidence and sense of security, Kelly Nadel, a dad or mum coach and psychotherapist, beforehand instructed Yahoo Life. Simply as Santa did on this video, Nadel stated it’s essential to “communicate early and infrequently about physique sovereignty.” Validating a toddler’s feelings and expertise, she stated, “units the tone for consent as a result of a toddler will all the time be getting the message that they know their physique greatest.”
Dad and mom can be certain that their youngsters really feel comfy by talking to them earlier than a possible interplay about why it’s acceptable to say no, even when they could obtain some pushback. Catherine Pearlman, founding father of the Family Coach, beforehand instructed Yahoo Life that it begins with “the dad or mum accepting that their youngster doesn’t should hug and kiss Uncle Joe or Grandpa.” It’s not an indication of disrespect, she stated, however a manner for the kid to respect what they want and need.
Because you “nonetheless should greet folks,” Pearlman stated, you may train your children to seek out new methods to take action which will make them really feel extra comfy. “Dad and mom could train [their kids] shake palms,” she added. “They may do a fist bump or they could have a dialogue — and fogeys can position play this earlier than the vacations.”
As psychologist Aliza Pressman, host of the podcast Raising Good Humans, beforehand instructed the HuffPost, “If our messaging is about instructing children to honor their intestine, to count on folks to respect their boundaries and to say ‘no’ when somebody is making them really feel bodily unsafe, we’ve got to make the idea of consent a part of the messaging, irrespective of the context.”
