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Saturday Night Live put up its greatest chilly open in fairly some time this week, with a comedic peek at what the GOP’s boot-lickingest politicians actually would possibly actually take into consideration Donald Trump.
Within the wake of Trump’s big South Carolina victory, Jim Risch (Mikey Day), Marco Rubio (Marcello Hernandez), Lindsey Graham (James Austin Johnson), and Tim Scott (Devon Walker) gathered collectively for cocktails, tater tots, and a few awkward dialog about their feared chief.
Risch opened the door to some potential Trump smack-talk when he admitted, “Generally I have no idea what my celebration is doing. I imply, I have been pushing for Ukraine funding for the previous six months. It’s important to American safety. And Trump simply killed it with one cellphone name. The person doesn’t care about this nation one iota. Generally I feel he’s downright harmful.”
“And also you simply endorsed him, proper,” requested Rubio.
“Yeah. Large time. Large time,” Risch assured him. “He’s nice.”
Rubio discovered it laborious to disagree with that evaluation, and even tougher to stay down the notorious “Little Marco” nickname that also haunts the Florida senator to at the present time.
“I’ve by no means been in a position to shake it,” stated Rubio. “Individuals nonetheless yell at me in airports. He form of made my life hell.”
“And also you endorsed him, proper,” requested Risch.
You most likely know the place that is going.
Risch and Rubio had been quickly joined by Graham and Scott—two extra Republicans whose lives have been made extra hellish for realizing Trump. However like their colleagues Idaho and Florida counterparts, they too appeared caught in a form of Stockholm Syndrome the place even Trump’s worst qualities are someway praiseworthy.
When Scott was requested in regards to the embarrassing Fox News City Corridor he was part of with Trump final week, the South Carolina senator assured everybody that he completely had the higher hand the entire time.
“[Trump] did not make me say that I hate [Nikki Haley],” Scott defined. “He stated, ‘You could actually hate her, you already know.’ However, you all noticed what I did, proper? I stepped proper as much as the mic, and I stated, ‘No, I simply love you.’”
“You confirmed him,” Graham assured his colleague—earlier than reminding his fellow senators in regards to the time Trump doxxed him. “Yep, again in 2015. He gave out my private cellphone quantity in his speech to all his supporters [and] had hundreds of his individuals name me as much as yell at me, threatening my life. Needed to get a brand new cellphone!”
Risch was in a position to one-up that story by telling everybody that “one of many January 6 rioters—I’m sorry, one of many January 6 vacationers—pooped on the ground of my workplace.”
Regardless of their close to admissions of being terrified to go in opposition to Trump (“typically I feel his ass is gonna stay 1,000 years,” stated a visibly upset Graham)—and the shared embarrassment they’ve confronted in service to him—all of them agreed that Trump is a superb man. And, based on Graham, probably even “the best president since Reagan.”
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