People, I am unable to imagine summer season 2024 is coming to an finish already — what a chaotic three months it has been. Earlier than we head into September, let’s have one final snigger on the funniest tweets from August.
1.
@PirateCoop
2.
@fairy_duststash
3.
In junior excessive I had a crush on a man on my swim staff whose legs seemed like this however my buddies and I did not know his title so we known as him “white ft” pic.twitter.com/M4YOf8ZAub
— non sequitur (@deeshka) August 7, 2024
@deeshka
4.
@jzux
5.
@DavidDTSS
6.
Immediately at Ft Lauderdale Airport, the person in a close-by stall was muttering “God’s received this” earlier than throwing his belt off. I don’t know what rest room emergency was burdening him, however I want him the perfect, as I do know all of us do. pic.twitter.com/Og7eiVg31a
— Andrew Farmer (@thatsajellyfish) August 17, 2024
@thatsajellyfish
7.
@kerrywashington
8.
@_EricLamarBeatz
9.
A feminine coworker informed me she’s aroused by my thoughts, then proceeded to elucidate that it’s as a result of she’s a psychologist and finds psychopaths fascinating. Now, maintain up, heifer. pic.twitter.com/qgdMMsdlGr
— 𝗛𝗼𝗺𝗼 𝗡𝗲𝗴𝗿𝘂𝘀 𝗦𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗿 (@BDMNRS) August 14, 2024
@BDMNRS
10.
My husband met us on the park and stunned me with a big iced espresso and I did not have the center to inform him I simply had a big iced espresso so now I am vibrating and going to piss myself
— h🦋 (@tinotonitini_) August 24, 2024
@tinotonitini_
11.
@georgie_rae_
12.
If I had been Jordan Chiles n nem I’d inform the Olympics my Momma received the Medal now. Cus you KNOW as soon as yo momma get ahold to your accolades, they ain’t goin NOWHERE! pic.twitter.com/wzWO20QcIr
— Cindy Noir✨ (@thecindynoir) August 10, 2024
Hulu / @thecindynoir
13.
@__Curtdoggg
14.
@CRGCALS
15.
Immediately I went to the financial institution and requested if they’d an atm. The man mentioned they’d a drive via. I mentioned oh I walked right here. He mentioned that’s wonderful. I needed to wait in line behind a automotive like this 🧍🏻♀️
— naomi (@lachancenaomi27) August 26, 2024
@lachancenaomi27
16.
Ingrown hair is so infantile to me as a result of why are you really trapped?Be grown & push by way of with out inflicting a scene.
— Jacen Bowman (@JacenBowman) August 19, 2024
@JacenBowman
17.
@Roysenotes
18.
Pixar / @Whotfismick
19.
American tradition humorous asl mfs actually say “the way you doing” and stroll off 💀
— fatou (@VICKIAHNA) August 19, 2024
@VICKIAHNA
20.
Me: We actually should be higher about our language across the children.Husband: why?3 12 months previous snuggles down on the sofa with a blanket: *whispers* that is cozy as fuck. Husband: I see.
— One Awkward Mother (@oneawkwardmom) August 23, 2024
@oneawkwardmom
21.
@alyssalimp
22.
@sadmonsters
23.
Me (mendacity subsequent to 4yo as he falls asleep, fascinated by the brevity of life and attempting to impress this very second in my reminiscence for when he’s grown): I like you4yo (whispering very softly): Daddy you want a mint
— Matt (@scriptumsent) August 22, 2024
@scriptumsent
24.
@ruff_bluffs
25.
im crying i ordered a turtle pineapple bun at dim sum and ten minutes later the waitress comes out apologizing profusely like “we’re so sorry it got here out actually ugly. would you like it nonetheless we’ll give it to you free of charge” YES OF COURSE anyway i really like him. he was scrumptious pic.twitter.com/7hmkteKMX2
— leander! (@heroleanders) August 16, 2024
@heroleanders
26.
final night time there was a celebration in my house and whereas i used to be making a sandwich within the kitchen somebody i do not know got here as much as me and mentioned “are you allowed to do this”
— Dirk Fuckner 🚯 (@timerube) August 18, 2024
@/timerube
27.
@Brittymigs
28.
ailing guess bitter cream and salsa dont actually like eachother on a private stage however after they get within the studio collectively its simple
— paddle (@ipaddlearound) August 13, 2024
@ipaddlearound
29.
rising up there was a cody in each elementary faculty class however as an grownup i haven’t met a cody in years. the place did they go
— campbell g (@rodeoman) August 13, 2024
@rodeoman
30.
@PabloRochat
31.
I not too long ago taught my kiddo how one can make my iced espresso bc she likes to be involved- it’s all the time made so properly & the opposite day one thing simply felt off- this morning she made my espresso & whereas she was doing the espresso she mentioned “typically you want additional power.. so I do 4 scoops”
— ❀ 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚢𝚢 ❀ (@Stonedwifeyy) August 18, 2024
@Stonedwifeyy
32.
@cyncl3r
33.
@vitt2tsnoc
34.
@drhingram
35.
@NICKWATTS__/
36.
@Jayysen_
37.
See how I didn’t take my full shot of tequila as a result of I do know I’d throw up? Very conscious, very demure
— Natalie (@jbfan911) August 18, 2024
@jbfan911
38.
@ItsDanSheehan
39.
@msmacb
40.
CSPAN / @SAMGREIS
41.
NBC / @RockiiiiRoadd
42.
chappell roan feels like a catholic faculty in northeast with a good soccer staff
— 🚬 (@qnorapname_) August 13, 2024
@qnorapname_
43.
@theereal_one
44.
“Taco Bell isn’t even good” Yeah I do know. Typically the raccoon within me craves rubbish. Depart me & my Crunchwrap alone
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) August 5, 2024
@megannn_lynne
45.
If I used to be informed informed to return my Olympic medal….yeah certain I’d give it again….however I’d be on the airplane earlier than they understand it’s cake idgaf
— jat (@whotheheckisjat) August 11, 2024
@whotheheckisjat
46.
@easterngoblin
47.
@Hardywolf359
48.
@garlicpitachips
49.
Its going to be 33 levels tomorrow. Good situations for sitting in entrance of a pc display screen all day and creating wealth for an enormous company when you ask me.
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) August 11, 2024
@townsendyesmate
50.
Ever since I used to be somewhat lady I knew I needed to take PTO
— Natalie (@jbfan911) August 13, 2024
@jbfan911
Which tweet made you snigger on this month’s roundup? Tell us your favorites within the feedback beneath, and we’ll see you again right here in September!
