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The birds are chirping, the solar is out shining, and the perfect half — I’ve bought 23 foolish little tweets to make you smile right now. Simply what I am right here for! Let’s get into ’em:
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the worst factor ever is if you go to the dentist after ten years of not having insurance coverage and the dentist is like why did you let this get this unhealthy?? i don’t know bro why do you cost $20,000 for an x-ray
— youngmi mayer (@ymmayer) February 20, 2024
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Wordle, NYT connections, day by day mini crossword… fashionable folks yearn for the riddles of the sphinx
— Benedict Townsend 🐀 (@BenedictTown) February 23, 2024
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i bodily can’t make a spotify playlist with out including each music i’ve ever favored. i’ll begin one referred to as “unhappy :(” and it’ll find yourself with temperature by sean paul on it
— chase (@_chase_____) February 23, 2024
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I used to be pulled over by a Police Officer . He checked out my license and mentioned “you are speculated to be carrying glasses”. I mentioned I’ve contacts. He mentioned he did not care who I do know
— Thanos. (@Slim_Thanos) February 26, 2024
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Karwai Tang/WireImage / Kevin Mazur/Getty Photos for The Recording Academy / By way of Twitter: @sleep2dream
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Elder millennial colleague simply lobbed a grenade into the workplace by asking aloud when Taylor Swift was gonna “begin making music for grownups” and my Gen Z colleagues checked out her like this pic.twitter.com/JgFcP0HcBW
— Sarah York (@thesarahyork) February 19, 2024
Mario Perez/HBO / By way of Twitter: @thesarahyork
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Huge Chook is like 3000 instances the dimensions of a hen. “Huge” does not even start to explain it. They need to name him the yellow freak
— DUTTS (@jeffersondutton) February 23, 2024
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My daddy simply requested me if his Uber app would work in Florida bc he downloaded it in Detroit……..please cease speaking to me.
— Tay-Ok 🔫 (@ohthatsmayo) February 24, 2024
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i keep in mind when my mother left us and he or she was nonetheless energetic on fb and i’d remark underneath her selfies “mother come dwelling” and he or she would delete them 😭😭😭😭😭
— jessel ୨ৎ (@pissypeony) February 24, 2024
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“quiet luxurious” lady you seem like kim jong un
— rust HOLE 💜 (@twinkp3ak5) February 25, 2024
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In case you go to a person home and he bought a vinyl assortment simply know you coping with a seasoned hoe
— ⭐️ (@yumyumeg) February 26, 2024
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I’ve been away this week and bought again to a pleasant clear home, husband and canines all wonderful, every part regarded okay and because it was after I left…till I went for a bathe and pulled the curtain throughout… 🤔😂 pic.twitter.com/BDqVyVWkxp
— Kate North (@katephillips29) February 24, 2024
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You ever suppose Phoebe had an entire different secret group of buddies? There’s no method this fun-loving, free-spirited diva was hanging out consuming espresso with these squares full time. You understand she was elevating a ruckus within the golf equipment after the gang went to mattress at 9 pm. pic.twitter.com/BfsR1qkgsc
— Tim Popp, Six, Squish, Uh uh… (@popphits) February 23, 2024
NBC / By way of Twitter: @popphits
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Amazon / By way of Twitter: @lusciousbeagle
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In case you favored these tweets, do not forget to comply with the creators! And if you happen to’re searching for extra laughs, be at liberty to scroll by our most recent roundups:
These 31 Funny Tweets Had Me Cackling All Week Long, And I’m 97.777% Certain They Will For You, Too
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